During a seminar dedicated to self-confidence, Frédéric Lenoir and Christophe André shared their vision of this universal yet deeply personal concept.
👉 Here’s what I took away from it…
Self-confidence is a mental capacity that we mobilize when facing difficulties, uncertainty, and everyday challenges.
It is inseparable from self-knowledge.
Frédéric Lenoir and Christophe André define it as the feeling that “things will go well” — without being certain of it.
Self-confidence is not a permanent state; it fluctuates depending on context.
One may feel very confident before a job interview and far less so when speaking in public.
But lasting confidence is based on an inner attitude:
“I do my best, and I’ll see what happens.”
It is the art of separating the process from the outcome.
Confidence arises from our assessment of balance between the difficulty of a situation and our resources to face it.
Of course, this assessment can be distorted by our emotions, our stress, or the way we perceive ourselves.
Know Yourself
A lack of self-confidence often stems from a bias in our self-knowledge: we tend to focus on what is not working.
Our mistakes, our shortcomings, our failures…
In short, we don’t truly know ourselves.
Socrates said: “Know thyself.”
And within that phrase lie two complementary dimensions:
- Introspection, that is, reflecting on oneself,
- Action, that is, experimenting.
It is the combination of both that builds genuine confidence.
Action allows us to interact with the world and receive feedback, often more benevolent than our own self-judgment.
Self-confidence then becomes a blend between our inner (often critical) judgment and the positive perception of others.
Learning to Fail
A person with confidence is tolerant toward failure, discomfort, and difficulty.
They understand that “not knowing” is normal, and that “making mistakes” is part of learning.
👉 We must train ourselves to fail, and accept failure as a field of experience.
Self-confidence is a relationship to action (DOING), while self-esteem is a relationship to being (BEING).
The two influence each other.
Embracing All Our Parts
Carl Gustav Jung reminds us that the path toward oneself involves integrating all our parts — both light and shadow.
He called this the process of individuation: accepting to be a unique, singular, imperfect human being.
By letting go of the desire to be perfect, we can discover our full potential.
And above all, without comparing ourselves to others.
Seneca said: “If you want to be unhappy, compare yourself.”
What Brings Us Joy
Spinoza invites us to observe what brings us joy as a way to discover our talents.
Our positive emotions indicate that we are moving in the right direction,
while negative emotions signal that we are moving away from what we need.
Daring to Be Vulnerable
Having confidence in oneself also means daring to show our weaknesses.
And realizing that 95% of people don’t care… or find them endearing.
Only 5% judge — and that’s their issue, not ours.
Confidence is about being okay with not knowing everything.
It’s about distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not.
Acting on the first, and letting go of the second.
Letting go is not resignation.
It is a form of acceptance — neither fatalism nor giving up — but trust in life.
The Impact of Patriarchy
During this seminar, led by six men, Christophe André highlighted an important point:
“Our society prepares men to be more self-confident than women…”
This observation still resonates today.
We remain deeply influenced by these social constructs, often unconsciously.
But the good news is that self-confidence can be learned, cultivated, and rebuilt.
And it begins with one simple thing:
👉 daring to take action, simply.
What I Thought of the Seminar
I truly enjoyed participating in this seminar on self-confidence, as I deeply appreciate the philosophical reflections of Frédéric Lenoir and the psychological insights of Christophe André on fear and human emotions.
As I listened to them, I realized how much of what they shared is already part of what I live, transmit, and embody in my coaching practice, and in my book “Pandore a raison” (soon available in EN!)— which, by the way, references Christophe André several times.
It’s always inspiring to see how philosophy, psychology, and coaching converge in their understanding of the human being and the world around us. Like different facets of the same diamond. 💎
Want to take action?
Would you like to (re)connect with your inner resources, strengthen your confidence, or move forward with more serenity?
I offer a discovery session where we can discuss your needs and see how personalized coaching could help you (re)build lasting confidence, step by step.